


The Death Of A Dream

by wildwordwomyn



Series: Friends With Benefits [7]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-18
Updated: 2007-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-09 13:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwordwomyn/pseuds/wildwordwomyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The note reveals something in Jared, and makes Jensen question himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Death Of A Dream

After reading the note Chris growls long and loud. Steve whimpers as if feeling your pain himself. Which makes Chris growl again when Steve folds in on himself. He promises to kill Jay for you, for Steve, for himself. He promises to tear him limb from long, bloody limb, and for the first time you don’t even try to shut him up. Because you’re past the pain now. Well, not past it, but you’ve pushed it down. Instead you’re pissed. More than pissed. Enraged. And this is a welcome relief for both of your friends.

“Like I said, homicide is always an option. I mean the fucker deserves it, right?” Chris asks innocently.

“Yeah, he does. This time, Jen, I gotta agree with Kane. He should die a slow, painful death. Tonight. I’ll do it myself.” And that right there? That side of Steve that never gets shown makes you smile. Steve Carlson just doesn’t get angry. Well, he’s deadly now.

“You know, Steve, I think you would,” you say, awed by the depth of love shining in his eyes. You shake your head. “No thanks, though. He’s mine.” You don’t realize how possessive or passionate it sounds until they turn wary eyes toward you, making you flinch. Passionate is not good at the moment, but it’s the only way to describe the physical damage you want to inflict on Jay…

“Jen, come on. After that note-.”

You cut him off quickly. “Fuck the note. And fuck him for doing this! For being such a pussy!” You stop, take a breath to calm yourself down. As you look down your gaze snags the edge of the note involuntarily. You pick it up, wanting not to, wanting not to read it again. You even hear Steve warning you not to. But once again your eyes seek out the words, the excuses. Once again you find yourself wondering how you could’ve missed such weakness in a guy you thought you knew like the back of your hand.

 

            _Jen-_

_            Was gonna tell you at work today. Tried to tell you so many_

_            times before but I couldn’t get the words out. I’m sorry. I’m_

_            so damn sorry about all this because the truth is…She’s_

_            pregnant. It’s mine. Course it’s mine. But she’s keeping the_

_            baby. And I just can’t leave it like this, you know? We got_

_            married. Last week in LA. She’s my wife now Jen. So I can’t_

_            be with you anymore. Can’t. I know this. But all I want is to_

_            feel you against me. Kissing me, touching me. No one’s ever_

_           wanted me like you do. Maybe that’s why I…I mean  it’s_

_           hard not to get caught up in someone like you wanting me,_

_           you know? Anyway, I’m sorry. Shit, I_..._Sorry._

_                                                   Jay_

“Yeah, we’ll kill him with our bare hands,” you whisper, nodding to yourself.

But you won’t, because you’re starting to wonder if it’s your fault. If he doesn’t really need you. If it was just lust, and not seeing Sandy often enough, and you being together 24/7, and…What if what he feels for you really is nothing but a deep-seeded friendship that couldn’t stand to see you suffer. That’s the worst part. That what you share might all be in your head. That he slept with you, touched you, because you needed it too much and he couldn’t say no. Chris and Steve see the doubt begin, see your face crumble, but they’re too late to stop the sudden keening that chokes you. It’s lodged deep down and won’t budge. Not with Steve’s arms around you and Chris’s panicked voice in your ear. Not when Steve takes you to bed, laying beside you, soothing you with soft murmurs and softer stroking. Only when you let go, crying in that hiccuppy, unmanly, honest way, do you finally become someone who can carry on.


End file.
